Book Fair

If you haven't checked out the Colombo International Book Fair already, you should. I can't remember the last time I went so the sheer size of it was totally overwhelming. Get someone to drop you off because the parking looks a nightmare. They have, if I remember right, halls A  through H, brimming with books. The Lakehouse, Makeen's and Sarasavi bookshops had the widest selections of the ones I visited but the smaller stalls are also worth a visit; you never know what gems you may find there. The fiction selection seems to be pretty poor, with Jeffrey Archer, Tom Clancy, Stephen King, Nora Roberts, Meg Cabot and Maeve Binchy dominating the shelves, but there is also a large assortment of tech/geek, arts and crafts, sci-fi and cookery books. All the stalls we visited had a standard 20% off on all the books, but I don't know if that applies to each stall.

My favourite, to no one's surprise, was the bargain tent, because what's better than good books at a great price and you can never tell what you might find. I got the 2 books above for a steal. The cook book is for me (as you can see, I dream big) and I bought Rounding the Horn for G, because he's a nautical nerd. That was all I managed to grab before Johnny Biggles dragged me out, so I'll be returning tomorrow, alone. I'm on the look out for poetry, photography and cook books, so if you spot any, holler.

Off the top of my head

I have just returned from a very rewarding, albeit tiring, field trip to Hambantota. As part of a new project we are working on, we did a series of interviews and photo shoots, and we did and saw things that I may or may not reflect on later, time permitting, but I wanted to put down some initial thoughts while they're still fresh in my mind. 

A few things struck me quite strongly during the course of our work. One was the instant and unquestioning hospitality extended towards us in every home. If 4 strangers with DSLRs and recording equipment walked into your house and asked you if they could hear your lifestory and take a few pictures, how would you react? I would have told us to kindly take a hike. Instead, we were offered tea, sincerity and heartbreaking stories. People warmed to us instantaneously, which had less to do with the kind of people we were, than the kind of people they are, I think. The women, especially, were eager to talk to us, to share their stories, once they got over their initial surprise. They shared their hardships, past and present, with no reservations; the men, I felt, were more straightforward and matter of fact, while the women may have glossed over the finer points; sometimes, it's just a matter of pride, after all. 

The second point that stood out for me was how conspicuous I felt with my camera; correction, the Duckling's camera, which she kindly lent me for work purposes. During our first shoot especially (it got better after that), I felt like the most awkward, intrusive person in the world, taking pictures of a person while they tried their best to pretend like the camera wasn't there. To their credit, most of our interviewees liked having their picture taken, and were completely natural in front of the camera. For me, however, being the subject of a photograph is a very disempowering feeling, knowing what I know about social media, and understanding that when a picture is taken these days, you have absolutely no control over where it will end up. To do that to another person, to subject them to the same disempowerment I feel was a very uncomfortable feeling, that at the beginning completely overshadowed my joy of using a DSLR and of being able to take photographs with a purpose. It is also interesting to note how quickly I overcame that feeling; by our 8th and last interview, the 'person' had shifted from being an individual with feelings to a subject with unlimited photographic potential. While our company does have a policy of preserving the anonymity of individuals, (i.e. faces and recognisable characteristics are largely excluded in our work) which I am actually extremely proud of, it is still important to consider the process of taking photographs. I saw so many emotions move across the faces of our subjects, and I kept wondering what was going through their minds as we were taking their picture; did they feel uncomfortable, had they only consented out of politeness? I think these are things I need to think more seriously about when considering the kind of photographer I want to be and the kind of pictures I want to take.

In terms of lifestyles, I found the simple hospitality and traditions still very much alive in rural Sri Lanka. The people of this area were very much tied to the temple, and religion played a large role in daily life. Also important were the social structures and extended family as a support system. Many of them lived within walking distance of their brothers and sisters and the maha gedara; it wasn't uncommon to find three generations of a family in and out of each others' homes at any given time. For me, with my ideas of independence and, dare I say, Western concepts of single life, it was a jarring lesson in the value of a support system as you grow older. 

It was a hard assignment. Some of the stories we heard were very sad. There were tsunami horror stories, death, loss. A few people cried; I felt like crying most of the time. We tend to say, in our urban snobbery, that rural lives are simpler lives. I found they are simpler in material terms but so much harder because of the weight they carry. There were people who built themselves up from scratch after they lost everything in the tsunami. There was a man who had lost both legs, who sat on a mat and watched tv all day, who said the only thing he loved was his son, who had died. And then there was the older couple who were still so obviously in love that they practically glowed. There were so many people who have lost so much, and yet take it in stride and never let it break their will. It makes me ashamed when I think of the things I worry about, the things I let sway me. If anything, life gives me daily chances for reevaluation and restoration. For that, for the chance to breathe and just be, I am lucky.

10 things I love

It's September! One of my favourite months; as I was telling O, 3 years ago we'd be unpacking in our room in college. Sadly, that is no more, and yet my virtual mood board is all autumn colours and pumpkin pie right now. So without further ado, the ten things I love this month:

1. Babies. I jest. But I am expecting a very special brand new nephew to make his appearance in a few weeks, and then both my nephews to be here next month. Excited? You bet.

Ravish your lover while you still love her - Tanya Davis

(this poem is) to my lovers who were once the suns in my skies: i am sorry that i never ravished you enough and that there is nothing to be done about the passing of time

remember your lovers
but, especially, don't forget them, while they are in your bedroom
with their hair disheveled and their clothes strewn
make sure you notice them as they stand before you
as there they lie
tell them that you're touched a thousand times
of every inch take a picture with your unabashed eye
because this will change, as pictures fade, so love does die

smell your lovers, their wide open skin
like bare shoulders, before toast, in the morning
pheromones will be what you don't know you miss
when you're standing beside x's
feeling suddenly nostalgic
could be soap, could be freshly-washed clothes
most likely its the mix of hidden chemicals
the silent scent
that perfumers will never get
but you will remember it
long after love goes

hold your lovers close
as you are drifting off, sharing oxygen and oxytocin both
memorize the napes of their necks, the crooks of their wrists, the way their breathing rises and falls
knees get cuddled only in one kind of spot
and they will miss this once the spoon is gone
like you will miss the puzzle when you don't get to be a part
and, so, while you are
with your limbs entangled in ways that warm your heart
remember to notice it
so that the last night doesn't go by without you noticing
and suddenly it's over and only in the sunshine do you know these things
while you pine for one more chance to lay with your loved one when night is falling
so, hold your lovers close while you're in their company

this is a plea, mostly for me, so i may remember next time i am a puzzle piece
as well, for the lovers i have held and known
who have been my comforts
and also my abrasions
i have daydreamed about the days when we were first mating
and of the love we made then
like we were scorched earth and it was raining

going veg

Yes, I am as astounded as you are. Never did I think those words would emerge from my keyboard. But as someone reminded me recently, being environmentally conscious isn't a part time job; it's a way of life. Which means if I am to take myself seriously, I need to practice what I preach.

What has given rise to this epiphany? Well, I guess over the years it's become harder to ignore facts and figures, and, let's face it, those PETA ads are pretty horrific. Oh, and if you haven't watched Food Inc. do so right away. Animal husbandry is horrendously bad for the environment, contributing to climate change, water pollution and biodiversity loss. And the meat and other products you get at the end are so altered and modified, it would be healthier to not eat it.

On the flip side, there's no way I can go cold turkey. Sometimes I walk into the kitchen thinking I need meat. In italics, just like that. So I'm outlining a meal plan for myself that will reduce my meat consumption, and hopefully stop it altogether (fingers crossed). It will include cutting down on red meats, and going veg for 4 days a week. The goal would be to cut out red meat and chicken completely. It's not comprehensive, and it's not vegan, but it's a start.

I know my one person boycott isn't going to bring any industry to its knees, but I think as a consumer with spending power, I need to start being more conscious of what I buy and where it comes from. So things like choosing free range eggs and organic veggies whenever possible, even if it costs more. I don't actually know what the situation is in Sri Lanka for meat and dairy production. I can't imagine it's as bad as in the US but if animals are being born and bred simply for their meat, I can't imagine that their wellbeing is anyone's primary concern. Same for vegetables actually. When money is the bottom line, more for less becomes the mantra. Same for any mass produced goods then. It's a bit overwhelming when you think about all the facets and angles you have to consider as a consumer, but I guess as a human, it's my responsibility?

I'm already tired.