The Dream

Life as I know it keeps getting more complicated. Most of the time I would rather be on an island in a tiny little hut, with lush mountains at my back and blue blue water as far as the eye can see. I would eat mangos by day and sleep under the stars at night. The only music I would hear would be the sounds of the sea and the only voices would be those of the birds who would keep me company as I stretched out on the sand and dreamed my life away.

Civilization did me wrong, technology did me wrong. Modernity fucked me over. Capitalism is stealing my soul. I'm chasing a dream that's not my own. We were never meant to have this much, to want this much. Wanting more; more money, more shoes, more credentials, more credibility. More of everything I don't need, because when I die, I will take nothing with me. All I really want is more free time, more love, more music, more peace of mind.

I'm tired of looking forward, always with that uncertainty of how long more, how much more, when, where, how. I long to be 17 again, when everything was as simple as 12 red roses on the 20th of October. When holding hands was a big enough thrill and smiles were sincere and love was real. When the most important battles we fought were in a pool and the real world couldn't keep us down for long. When you were happy and loved each other, and we knew it.

It's different now, and nothing will ever be the same again. But I'll keep living the dream. It's not my dream, but I'll live it all the same because that's what we do best. Keep the hope alive. Keep the dream alive.

So I started typing a fairly fantastic emo post but then got caught up in the EOL moment of the decade with the Duckling and halfway through planning my Maldives vacation, I was all, omglolgrin. So yes, away with you blues. There is no place for you here. What will be will be.

In the silence

Sometimes we both forget

You were always my hero

The one I loved best.